The Wussification of America Amidst a Declining Society

I’ve spent the last several posts discussing and reminiscing of easier times in the prior couple decades. Well, easier times depending on how you think based upon when you entered this world. When did things start getting this bad?

What do I speak of by “wussification of America”?

I speak of this generation of kids raising kids as spineless, babied cowards.

I speak of the fact that too many people are looking for a handout or not willing to work for their earnings; of those who expect the handouts to get bigger each time and throw a fit when they do not.

I speak of those who have lost their jobs as CEO’s or corporate bigwigs in the declining economy and have exhausted their unemployment benefits because they refuse to accept a job with an income no less than that of a millionaire.

            I speak of neighbors running to the phone to dial 911 instead of being friendly and communicating with others in their neighborhood when there is a problem.

            I speak of the increasing divorce rate and lack of communication among families. The secrets and cheating and just tossing their partner aside over small things instead of working through their issues.

            I speak of the diminishing respect and values displayed by the future adults of society.

            Kids having kids is an issue all in itself. I saw a slideshow online recently of America’s youngest parents. Some of these kids were only 13-15 years old! But yes, kids are raising theirs as spineless babied cowards because they have not grown up themselves prior to considering reproducing. They are not mature enough to handle the responsibility so they baby their children because the parents are babies themselves, which brings me right into the next fact.

            I think one of the reasons society has gone to hell is due to the influx of those who expect the government or others to support them. Those who reproduce just so they can get BadgerCare and food stamps and child support because they do not care that they have six kids under 8 with five different daddies; they just expect not to have to work because they know how to swindle the system. And they cannot tell me that they are unable to find a job. I assisted a single mother of 4 the other day with job hunting and within 3 hours of being out there (not including drive time) she had two interviews scheduled and one job offer, and a handful of applications to fill out. There are consequences to actions and if those choices resulted in new life entering this deranged society, you had better be prepared.

            When I saw that beginning July 1^st this year, three counties in southeast WI are requiring those receiving FoodShare to either work at least 20 hours per week or be enrolled in a job search program, I could not have been happier. It will become mandatory state-wide as of Jan. 1^st, 2015. When did this STOP being a requirement? I was homeless in Jan. 2004 and staying at a homeless shelter. One of the first things we had to do was go apply for FoodShare because that automatically enrolled us in the job search program through the Job Center. They required a minimum of 10 job contacts per week (applications turned in or interviews/follow-ups) and related classes until at least 20 hours of work a week was obtained. It was a requirement then… what’s changed in the last 10 years?

            What has turned us into such a lazy society? Are the government handouts that good that nobody wants to work anymore? Yes, I understand that you need transportation to get to work to get money to obtain that transportation. I got to work AND school for two years via foot, bicycle, and bus. 7 miles one way. Once my transportation failed and I could no longer get to work, I relocated to a place where I could utilize public transportation. So nobody can tell me it cannot be done. Laziness is the only reason (excuse) it could not be done.

            Same was the case when the economy crashed and corporations were shut down. Those employees were able to receive unemployment benefits… until they ran out. Even after a couple of government-funded extensions, many of those people were still not working. Why? Because they refused to find ANY job to make ends meet or to attempt to get there; they wanted a job of equal or more pay.

            When I was on unemployment for the necessary times I needed to be, if I or an employer reported that I refused a job offer, there was an entire blown out investigation and it would be two or three weeks before I received a check again. I swore my whole life that I would never work in fast food but I ended up working at a Dairy Queen part-time for three months and continued seeking employment until I found a better job. Apparently these bigwigs thought they had it so good and would not settle for anything less. That’s pathetic. Do you really need that $400/month car payment and the $250/month cell phones and the mansion in a gated community to survive? No. Oh, maybe that’s why nobody is neighborly anymore.

            Scanner pages have been popping up on facebook recently. These are pages or groups where someone posts the calls that come across the police scanner and leave open for social media discussion. Some of the calls are pretty ridiculous. But what happened to the days where if you had an issue with a neighbor, it was resolved with a simple knock on their door or a phone call? The days where everyone knew who was who, and we could leave our doors unlocked, and neighbors looked out for each other?

            I see it frequently on the scanner pages: one person calls the police on their neighbor over something that could probably simply be solved with a quick visit instead of police intervention. But no, this is where the spineless, babied cowardice comes into play. Are you afraid your neighbor will answer the door with a rifle in your face? Unlikely. Communication is key. If my neighbors have their music blasted and are keeping me awake at 2 a.m., I am going to go knock on their door and nicely ask them to keep it down. The police are not needed unless I am aware of illegal activity occurring. If they punch me point blank, well then I will have a black eye and they will go to jail.

            But these days a person would rather grab the phone from the night stand and make a quick, anonymous phone call without even getting out of bed. Laziness. Why don’t people care to be friendly and neighborly anymore? Hating your neighbors just makes for unnecessary stress in what is supposed to be one’s safe haven. 

            And again, communication within the home (or more lack of it) is what keeps the divorce rate so high. Why do couples feel the need to cheat and keep it a secret? What happened to “for better or for worse, til death do us part?” Are those words no longer sacred? Some of the questions that come into The Dear Mike Page on facebook I just cannot believe. Dear Mike is a community advice column that can get pretty interesting in the questions and responses from the followers. I just cannot believe the amount of questions posted regarding relationships that can all be solved with some communication among the couples. Many are adult-oriented so I will not sum them up here, but come on now. It seems the norm these days is keeping one until the other does something they do not like, then toss them aside and move on to the next. I guess I just do not understand this mentality, since I am one of the few people I know whose parents are still married… yes, to each other.

            All this has also diminished the respect and values of our “children raising children” society. The young adults who are raising these overprotected, bratty, respectless, gimme, gimme, gimme children are not making the future of America any better. It does not help that parents are too afraid to discipline their children out of fear of being charged with child abuse. Without discipline, there is no respect. I was scared of my mama without her ever putting her hands on me, so one cannot tell me that discipline only comes in the form of beating your children. And you know what? I have respect for her and my elders.

            I have witnessed this recently, and close also. I have been out with family members who have children. In the first instance, the 4 year old told her mother what she was going to do prior to doing what her mother told her to. Oh, hell no… I put that kid right on her sitter and made her sit and think about it, while lecturing her about respect and her attitude. In the other instance, I had a 2 almost 3 year old climbing on the table and I told her to get down and sit on the other side of the table. The child told me “no” but she was in MY house. And you bet I put that child right in her place. I picked her up off the table and set her in the chair where I told her to sit and let her scream. I did not hurt the children in any way either time, and had permission from the parents in both instances, but this is what I mean. Or parents tell their children to do something once, twice, three, four times and the kid ignores them and eventually the parent gives up and ends up doing it themselves. How does a child learn? I will tell you how they learn… they learn how to get away with disrespecting their parents and this is exactly where the lack of respect begins. I saw a Dear Mike question posted a couple of days ago from what appeared to be a parent about how she cannot control her 14 year old son and she was wondering what amount of allowance to give him for doing simple tasks such as taking a shower. THIS is the future of America… the people who will be taking care of us when we grow old. Although with this kind of outlook, I am betting our kids will not want to care for us when we are old. They will just want whatever they can get and take it and run… because that is all they know, right?

            This is what I mean by the wussification of America. Why are we all living in such a paranoid society? Is the media to blame for glorifying violence in their news broadcasts? Is the economy to blame because so many have lost their jobs and willing to sink to any level to obtain necessities to survive instead of getting off their lazy butts and finding a job, even if it is less than they were making prior? Is it because this “bullying” thing has been blown way out of proportion? Everyone I know, including me, was bullied as a kid and it taught us all how to stand up and defend ourselves, 

not run home cryin’ to our mamas and consider suicide. Babies raising babies. As mentioned above.

            Maybe this is the reason I like being “old school”. Because I respect others and refuse to live so paranoid and uptight that I miss out on enjoying and living my own life. I believe in working for what you want and earning it, not taking it by force or criminally or expecting it to be handed to me. And if the day ever arrives that I do decide to bring a new life into this corrupt world, I will ensure they have the respect and work ethic that this generation is severely lacking. 

Feeling Nostalgic Day 10: Before Everything Became Now, Now, Now

"Automatic" by Miranda Lambert

I do not want to repeat the lyrics but it is 100% truth.

            Why does everyone seem to have the “now, now, now, give it to me now” mentality? Or they want everything done for them and handed to them on a silver platter on the red carpet instead of making the time to do so, as I eluded to in a prior post in this series. It’s as if our brains have gotten so used to a piece of machinery doing things for us or a technological object giving us the answer that we are incapable of using our brains anymore or doing anything for ourselves, then complain when it is necessary. Again, as mentioned earlier… I’m old school.

            I remember the first time I used an automatic toilet. I was young; maybe 7 or 8, and it was at the McDonald’s in Wisconsin Rapids. It scared the heck out of me and I ran out of that bathroom so fast…

            Who invented these things? Were there really that many people in the world in such a rush that they could not take two seconds to turn around and push down a handle?

            I think the automatic toilets are what made me terrified of public restrooms as a child. Or the fact that I believed I would get sucked down the drain with the toilet contents.

            I was 15 when we got our first microwave. This thing was enormous and took up ¾ of our counter space and only had a turn dial for time. One mode. The first time I used it I was babysitting a 7 and 3 year old for the summer and making leftover chicken for lunch. I took the foil wrapped chicken out of the fridge and tossed it in the microwave, turned the dial, and went to prepare the rest of lunch. About 5 seconds later the 7 year old asked me why there were sparks flying around in the microwave… yeah, I kind of forgot when Mom and Dad told me the night before not to put anything metal in there. I never did that again. By the way… food cooked in the microwave tastes disgusting. The microwave is for re-heating food to make it hot, not to cook a meal in.

            Remember the excitement of getting a card or hand-drafted letter in the mail from one of your friends or relatives? When was the last time you brightened someone’s day by sending a hand-written letter or homemade card? These days everyone communicates via e-mail, text messaging, facebook, instant messenger, snapchat, twitter, etc.

Whatever did we do in days prior to the Internet? We visited people in person instead of virtually. We wrote letters and sent them with stamps via the U.S. Postal Service, and yes, it would arrive three (or more) days later.

Everyone had a map or atlas in their vehicle and knew how to read it instead of a voice on the dashboard telling you where to go.

We would spend hours in a giant room full of books (known as a library) to research information alphabetically in an encyclopedia in order to perfect our research papers. Other books related to the subject were searched for using index cards in drawers, known as something called a card catalog. We couldn’t just google the information on our phones anywhere we were. I remember it being the coolest new thing when the library received a computerized card catalog, because then you could even borrow items from other libraries without driving 40 miles! And yes, even those would arrive three (or 103) days later, depending on how many copies vs. how many people were in line ahead of you for that item.

Books were paperback or hardcover or on a cassette tape… we could not read a book by staring at a flat screen that fit into our purse. We actually had to carry the physical book around.

If we were out and about and needed to make a phone call, we had to ask to use the phone wherever we were (if they would let you) or hope you could find a quarter in your pocket and a pay phone. The last time I remember using a pay phone was over ten years ago… at the Sand Lake Road Kwik Trip in Onalaska in 2003.

When a new movie came out on VHS… yes, I said VHS… we did not get to see it streaming on Hulu or Netflix… and pay-per-view did not exist unless you were a millionaire that owned land to place the spaceship-sized satellite dish in the backyard. We actually had to travel to the video store or somewhere that rented movies and pay to borrow it for the night, then ensure it was returned by 5:30 or 6 p.m. the following evening or they would charge you for another day’s rental fee. If you were lucky, you were able to keep it for two nights.

None of these fancy little debit cards existed… you were stuck waiting in the grocery store line while everyone in front of you wrote out a paper check. And you actually had to keep track of your expenses in your checkbook because the money was not removed immediately and if you were caught writing bad checks...ooh whee... you had better get to the bank during business hours to take out that cash because a 24 hour ATM had not been invented yet.

What has attributed to this society of impatience? In my blunt old school mindset, the rise in technology has turned society lazy and stupid. Stupid as in brainless.

Lazy in the sense that we do not even have to flush our own toilets because they’re automatic.

Lazy in the thought of not needing to write a letter or send out invitations because it can be done via a facebook invite or “poke”.

Lazy in the sense that we cannot do simple math in our heads because “there’s an app for that”.

Stupid in the sense that a ten year old cannot read a map because it is now a talking box on the dash.

Stupid in the idea that phonics is not taught in our public schools and kids are learning that txt tlk and “luv ya” is proper spelling and okay.

Stupid in the thought that one cannot memorize a phone number because it’s in their cell phone contacts and hopefully one never drops their lifeline of a call phone into a toilet, because those automatic things will flush right on your tush and you would not have any numbers memorized to call someone and you’ll probably be late for that meeting now because you cannot remember when and where it was without your lifeline of a Palm Pilot directing your every move… 

Feeling Nostalgic Day 9: What IS This Thing?

                As I mentioned in the introduction of what inspired this series, there is one list in particular that stands out. At the beginning of every school year, some expert or historian comes out with a list of things that this year’s incoming college freshmen never had the joy of using or experiencing. A couple things I have seen on this list are 8-tracks, record players, and corded telephones.

                My parents had an 8-track player. I don’t think we played with it more than once or twice.

                I had a record player until my brother decided to take it apart for some odd reason. I believe the needle disappeared after that. I used to record 70’s music from my Mom’s 45s onto cassette tapes. A few weeks ago at work I was singing along to the song “Henry the VIII” and a co-worker was surprised I knew the song. I replied that it was a song on my Funny Bone record, then she asked if I was old enough to have records. I laughed. I think the funnier thing is that I still have most (if not all) of those cassette tapes!

                There was one night at church our Pastor’s son found a record in the children’s room and asked my brother what it was and if it would play in a CD player! He had no idea what a record or record player was and this was about…. 15 years ago…

                So as far as the music industry goes, we’ve gone from 8-tracks and records to cassette tapes to CDs, and now satellite radio and zillions of songs on can fit onto a device the size of a AA battery in the form of MP3s. Children today will never know the struggle of trying to get a Discman to fit into your pocket while walking or riding your bike and figuring out how not to make it skip with every other step or turn of the pedals.

               

                What about videos? I’m not sure if anything besides reel-to-reel filmstrip was used back in the day… remember watching a “filmstrip” in grade school with the projectors? I do not really remember much about a beta player, except seeing the tape and machine once when my brother attempted to fix one.

                Then came those honkingly large VHS tapes in the gigantic plastic cases. Or setting your blank tapes to record 6 hours and hoping you set up the timer record properly to record your shows that were on while you weren’t home, and praying the weather was nice so it didn’t come out fuzzy and that the antenna was pointed in the right position for that channel to come in and that the VCR wouldn’t “eat” your tape while recording.

                Well, now VHS tapes are becoming obsolete and along came DVDs in cases half the size. It’s a never-ending project; trying to upgrade all my VHS movies to DVD, when I can’t even complete that project and then they come out with bluray! And the DVR, where you can pause and rewind live tv and record more than one show at a time on two different channels without the worry of a hungry VCR munching on your tape!

                As with the amount of music one can fit on a slim device and the large VHS tapes slimmed down to thin discs, televisions have also diminished in size. Just 20 years ago, a television in someone’s living room was the size of an arm chair. Then they needed to sit on their own piece of furniture because they were no longer a console but still large and bulky. Nowadays, a television is so thin it can be mounted right to your wall! And they are also “smart TV’s” that hook up to the Internet and stream videos and can basically do everything a computer can do. Who would have imagined a gigantic console TV could ever transform into a slender computer? It seems that everything is a computer these days: A television, a computer, a tablet, a cell phone, an iPod… and too many are glued to their devices 24/7. I got rid of my smartphone after 3 days… I pay for Internet at home, I don’t need it on the go also. More about that in a future post.

                I will never forget the story I read earlier this year. A young man on a crowded train in San Francisco had brandished a handgun several times during his ride, but everyone was so glued to their smartphones or iPods or Kindles that nobody even realized the man sitting next to them on the train was showing off a firearm. Until he shot and killed a young male who was exiting the train.

                Think about that. The night I read that story, I entered the break room at work and noticed the same thing. 10 people in there, and it was silent. Everyone was staring down at their smartphones or e-readers. For a split second I pictured someone entering the room and turning it into a crime scene without anyone noticing until it was too late. The only verbiage I heard was one asking another to send them a life in Candy Crush.

                A real life is what they need, not a virtual one. 

Feeling Nostalgic Day 8: Nobody had Ever Heard of Gluten

                I didn’t really get into cereal too much as a kid because I could not drink milk, but I would eat cereal dry like a snack. Krispy Kritters and Oreo O’s were two of my favorites that are no longer. Krispy Kritters was like animal crackers, and Oreo O’s were like Cheerios but chocolatey with cream sprinkly things on them. 

               

                One night I had some Cocoa Puffs in a baggie and was walking around downtown Dells snacking on them like a bag of chips. My friends were laughing and asking why I was walking around eating Cocoa Puffs. I think I replied something like I wanted a snack and that was all I could find.

                Or going to the Wooden Nickel with our “allowance” to get the Frooties tootsie rolls for a penny or the weird unwrapped two-colored suckers for a dime or a can of soda for fifty cents. We’ll never see those prices again. These days it’s even difficult to purchase a single can of soda. I needed one can of Dr. Pepper awhile back for a recipe and could not find one anywhere without buying a 6 or 12 pack. I had to purchase a single bottle instead.

                Orbitz! Who remember Orbitz? No, not the gum or the travel website but the drink! Yes, the fruity water drink with the jelly balls suspended in it! Kwik Trip in Adams used to be the only place I could ever find it and whenever I had an extra buck or two I would stop there and get one. It had the funkiest texture ever. I remember our Chemistry teacher in high school doing a project with Orbitz trying to explain to us density and mass and how the jello balls stayed suspended in the drink. Or something like that… I failed Chemistry. Twice. 

 

                Anyway, continuing to read this may think about you destroying your crazy diet with my flashbacks of the days when a regular size candy bar was fifty cents and king size was 89 cents…

                I think it was Blue Bunny that used to always do a limited or special edition ice cream flavor and when we could afford a treat while shopping we would always get the special flavor if it looked good. That was usually on a Saturday after spending the mornings doing chores and the afternoons cleaning the church. Yeah, there were no Saturday morning cartoons in our house.

                I thought Kool-Aid Kool Bursts used to be bigger, or maybe it’s just that I was smaller. When you are little, everything seems so big. Like when I was in Future Educators in high school and we went to teach in the K-3 classrooms… the chairs and desks were so tiny!

               

                Remember collecting Kool-Aid and Pepsi points? We always had to get the new flavors of Kool-Aid also because those ones had two points on the back. I remember cutting them out and keeping them in an old red peanut butter bucket Dad brought home from Camp Chi when he worked there. I don’t think we ever sent them in for any merchandise. I think my brother sent in Pepsi points for a baseball cap or something like that. 

 

                Crystal Pepsi and Pepsi Blue! I was never much into a cola phase so I don’t really remember what they taste like. But we can’t forget about Surge! 

 

                My Mom reminded me today of YooHoo! We were watching a television show about it and I learned something new… apparently warm or cold, YooHoo! will not go bad as long as it is unopened… which means it may have a longer shelf life than Twinkies… ewwwwww!

                Tahitian Treat fruit punch was one of my favorite drinks as a kid. I had not seen it in forever until last summer I found it at the gas station by work. Temporarily… now it’s gone again. 

 

                Are there any treats or drinks you indulged in that are no longer available?  

Feeling Nostalgic Day 7: Imagination Only; Batteries Not Required

                Speaking of toys…. Ahhhhhh…. I could go on all day about the toys we had while growing up that inspired creativity compared to today’s cheap-o “why does everything run on batteries” nonsense. No wonder children today do not have an imagination… because all their “toys” do everything for them!

Heck, when I was 15, I was still asking for nothing but a bucket of Lego bricks for Christmas! And not one of those fancy technical kits where you could only build one thing using every Lego in the kit, but just a bucket of bricks. I liked to build skyscrapers and mini cities with the blocks.

One Christmas I got a K’Nex set and by that afternoon had built a 3-foot high Ferris wheel that really turned by twisting the crank.

I was completely satisfied with my Lite-Brite or Legos or K’Nex or coloring books and crayons. One of our secrets was always trying to get the new “special” crayons and art stuff. Through the years I had glitter crayons:

 Magic scent crayons:

 

 Glow in the dark crayons that we “painted” my bedroom ceiling with, super stamp markers:

 Color change markers, crazy tip markers, watercolor pencils, tri-color pencils; anything that was new and unusual or out of the ordinary and fun, we had to get. And I was anal about my coloring books. If someone wanted to color a picture in one of my coloring books, they had to ask me if they could color that picture and put their name and the date on it when they were finished. Hmmm… maybe that’s why I didn’t have (m)any friends.

Nah. Doubtful that had anything to do with coloring books.

Yes, barely any of the toys we owned required batteries. We played school and we played house and we created our own cities on poster board to use with our Micro Machines and we built forts in the woods and had family board game night and my Mom even created this silly mix-up sentence drawing game and we did Mad Libs and laughed until we thought our guts would burst. Ha! Mad Libs! Thanks to the “common core” I’m wondering if they even teach children nouns and verbs and adjectives in today’s schools.

Arts and crafts don’t take batteries. Micro Machines and Tonka trucks don’t take batteries. Most board games didn’t take batteries…except that loud buzzy game of Operation:

 

If I remember right, we lost Adam’s rib and have yet to locate. Legos and K’Nex don’t take batteries. Coloring books and crayons do not require batteries.

See, these are all things that sparked imagination and creativity. When was the last time you had a screen free evening and played a board game or put together a puzzle with your family?

Feeling Nostalgic Day 6: All-Day Shopping Excursions

                Recently I saw a slideshow online of two abandoned malls in Ohio. The pictures were pretty creepy. I wonder how the person inside taking the pictures felt!

               

                I was never much of a mall person. I really only wanted to go to Mall of America to see LegoLand and ride the indoor rollercoasters, which I finally got to do for my 28^th birthday.

                There weren’t really any malls very close to where I grew up. We had to go to Wisconsin Rapids (about 40 miles north) or Madison (about 70 miles south) to get to any malls. Going to the Rapids on a Saturday was an all-day affair for us.

                We would usually start at the Rapids Mall, which had Wal-Mart, an arcade where we would send my brother off to, the Tea Shoppe, which was this neat little store I loved that was kind of like a mild version of Spencer’s, but they had Jelly Belly’s. Actually, one of the first years I lived in La Crosse, my roommate and I took a road trip to the Rapids because she wanted to see the place. That was the last time I remember being there. At the moment I don’t really remember any other specific stores that were in the Rapids Mall. Wal-Mart left and built a Super Center on the south end of the city and everything has seemed to follow. There are all kinds of little plazas and mini-strips and new buildings going in all around Wal-Mart on the south side.

                Then there was the ShopKo Plaza mall. This mall had ShopKo, of course, and a Radio Shack where we would usually lose my Dad and my brother, a Christian bookstore called The Lighthouse where we would usually lose Mom, and I would usually wander back and forth between those two places and The Aquarium pet shop, where I would engage in conversation with the gigantic $2,000 African parrot. If I got really bored, I would find a piece of paper and pen and write down the titles and authors of all the books I wanted to read and then at a later time, go see if the library had them.

                As it sits today, the Rapids Mall still has a few stores remaining. A thrift shop, Subway, Dollar Tree, some insanely outrageously priced clothing stores, but the anchor ex-Wal-Mart still sits empty. The ShopKo mall is now a church but ShopKo remains. The Aquarium moved into a strip mall across the parking lot, and most of the other stores have followed to the area of the new Wal-Mart. The old K-Mart, which was across the highway from the new Wal-Mart, is now a car dealership, with The Lighthouse in a little spot around the side of their building.

                In high school Marketing class, my partner and I actually drafted a business plan to purchase the old Wal-Mart building in the Rapids and convert it to the most awesome gigantic toy store in central WI, since there are like… none. And yes, me being the hoarder that I am, still have it. We got an A-.