I
bet you’re wondering what the heck Squeex got into. Or what on Earth I did to
my poor cat. Well, you can relax because I haven’t done anything. Squeex is
fine and still as snow white as always.
I
don’t chew gum often. I don’t really think I have since I’ve had Squeex. But
the other night I bought a bunch in the hopes it would help me to quit smoking.
Somewhat working. My stress level really needs to go to hell before I can quit
smoking and I need a vacation away from here.
One
evening recently, I’m chilling out in my recliner attempting to do my homework
on the laptop and Squeex is in her usual spot; half on my lap, half on the
laptop stretching across the keyboard and undoing things I keep trying to do… you
know, the usual “this is my human, not yours, take that you stupid video box”
kind of thing and stretching across my lap between my belly and the laptop.
I’m
chewing a piece of gum so I can save some time and not go outside for a smoke
and get my already-late homework done. I begin to wonder if I can blow bubbles
with this little piece of not-bubble gum and attempt to try. I successfully
make and pop a small bubble. Squeex moans at the sound and lifts her head to
look at me. I smile and do it again. As the bubble gets bigger, Squeex’ eyes
get as big as the bubble as it grows and then get smaller instantly upon the
bubble popping. Amused, I blow another bubble and she does the same thing with
her eyes, big as the bubble grows and small as soon as it pops. I did it a few
more times until she lost interest.
Then
I think… what if she tried to bite at or paw at the bubble? It reminded me of
someone I knew when I was a kid who had a beagle that would chew gum and make
bubbles when it barked. Then I thought back to when I was a child and how I
would fall asleep with gum in my mouth and woke up with it in my hair and the
nightmare it would be to get it out. How on earth would I get it off Squeex if
she decided to stick her nose or paw in the bubble? I mean, this cat does NOT
like to be held. Even brushing her is a battle. Usually I have to close her in
the bathroom so she doesn’t find some abyss to hide in. Then she thinks she’s
clever by hiding in the bathtub. That’s easily solved by turning on the water.
Then she proceeds to sit in her litterbox and gives me the sad kitty cat eyes…“no,
mama, I don’t wanna be brushed…” How in the world would I be able to get gum
out of her fur?
So
I took to my Facebook status and asked: “how do I remove bubble gum from cat
fur?” Curiosity mostly, as to what replies I would get. Coconut oil.
Mayonaisse. Shave it off. Freeze it. The gum, not the cat. Scissors. Get a new
cat.
Ummmmm….
Yeah, no. None of the above. Not this cat. Ever try to give a cat a bath? I
imagine any of the above suggestions would be almost as difficult (unless you
have one of the 1% of cats that do like baths).
Sorry,
Squeex. No bubble gum for you.
No
wonder my homework never gets finished. All that because of a little piece of
gum. A.D.D. sucks.
P.S.
No animals were harmed during this crazy escapade of imagination.
