Everyone
asks kids what they want to be when they grow up. Tonight at work I’m asking
people what they wanted to be when they grew up.
A nurse in surgery.
A journalist.
A jockey when she was
little, then in high school she wanted to be a bone specialist.
An astronaut. FBI. He
didn’t remember.
A millionaire. But
money’s not everything. I just wanted to live in the country with a white
picket fence and a pickup truck.
A musician. Because I
thought they played lots of music and lived on the beach and had girls chasing
us
around tossing their underwear at us and it sounded like fun.
If we would have had
money for me to go to school, I would have been a nurse.
He wanted to be big and
tall.
I honestly don’t
remember, but it wasn’t working as (insert job title) at (place of employment).
I wanted to be a
veterinarian until I found out they put animals to sleep.
Math teacher.
Stewardess on an
airplane.
A truck driver.
Rich and never have to
work again.
A veterinarian.
Not here.
Either law enforcement
or a firefighter, but I ended up going into the military.
A cop.
Physical therapist.
A police officer. Thank
you, Unsolved Mysteries. Then when Monk came on in 2001, I wanted to be a
detective.
Jedi.
Yes, he said a Jedi.
Many
asked me after I asked them; or while they were trying to remember, what I
wanted to be. Ha! Mine changed as often as I rearranged my bedroom.
I remember first wanting to be a kindergarten
teacher, then an art teacher. When my brother and I were young we would play
cops ‘n robbers a lot. I was always the cop. Because I could never catch him is
what he thought. And it was always him being arrested for attempted murder. Maybe
I can also attribute that to Unsolved Mysteries? But by the time I was 12, I
was saying I wanted to be an inmate because it looked like fun on TV. Yeah, if
only I knew the truth then… I got that wish when I was 21.
Let’s see, I can also remember wanting to be an
architect and an interior designer. Again when we were little, one of the
things I loved to do was layout cities on tag board to play with our Micro
Machines. I have graph paper pads of home, school, and mall floor plans I have
created.
Hmmm… what else did I want to be? I had this t-shirt
with a telephone on it that said “Chatterbox” and my Mom said I was going to
end up being a telephone operator someday. But my teachers always told her I
was so quiet they never knew I was in class! Ha ha! I did end up doing a short
stint as a customer service rep for Verizon Wireless, but that didn’t last
long. I’m too active and not cut out for cubicle work. Considered being a 911
dispatcher also but again, I would rather be out in the action then sitting
behind a computer screen.
I had aspirations of being a novelist or journalist.
I would make up short stories and type them up on a manual typewriter when I
was maybe 8, 9 years old. I was our Club Reporter in 4-H and would write up our
activity for the month for the local newspaper and the 4-H newsletter. I also
did the club scrapbook, and worked on the yearbook in high school so I was also
interested in layout or graphic design, coupled with my interest in desktop publishing.
I wrote a book when I was 17 but it’s cheesy because I was 17. I attempted to
get that one published in a couple of first writer’s contests but was declined.
Apparently critics in New York don’t believe that teens talk how I portrayed
them… however most of it was true and they either don’t talk like that in New
York or teens have changed in the past 13 years. I’ve started a couple more
books in the meantime but hope to really finish one of them, and the one I have
put forth the most effort on so far. I’ve even considered making it into a
trilogy. There was also a point in time I wanted to work for the local newspaper
as a proofreader; well Editor I guess they call it that now. Sometimes I liked
to read the newspaper just to pick out all the mistakes and was tempted to
highlight them and drop it back into their drop box!
Hmmm… what else did I dream of doing with my life? My
two best friends from high school talked about after graduation, buying a
station wagon, throwing a mattress in the back and touring the country. Yeah,
that never happened. I’ve still barely made it out of the Midwest and it’s
going on…12 years since graduating high school? One of those friends completely
cut ties with me the summer after she graduated and the other, well we lost
contact for a few years but now talk once in a while on facebook.
I considered going into law until I found out it took
eight years of school. Then again, I’m nearly there as it is and I still only
have an Associate’s degree… almost a Bachelor’s. My sister and I even talked
about how cool it would be to go to school together for paralegal, but I am not
really a good liar.
Storm chasing and photography is fun and exciting,
but there’s no way to make a career out of that. Some do, but they have much more
knowledge about meteorology and science than I could ever remember. It’s more
fun to do as a hobby, not for a career. I don’t want to quit doing something I
enjoy because I get bored with it by doing it all the time and then will never
learn to appreciate and have fun with it ever again.
I guess the point I am trying to make is that I don’t
know. I simply do not know. I don’t know what I want to do. I have plans; I
have dreams and aspirations, but I feel stuck. Most people by the time they are
30 have completed college, are beginning their careers, married and have a kid
or two or five. I’m like way behind in that sense. And I don’t know why, because it’s not going
to just fall out of the sky and land in my lap. If it will, I should be
wandering around aimlessly, wearing a helmet wrapped in tin foil.
On the other hand, I do know that I, as others have
said above, do not want to be here at this place doing this job forever. I
enjoy it, but I know there are better things out there for me. It’s just a
matter of figuring out what and when it shall all fall into my lap.
