And the Diagnosis is...

Pneumonia.

Yep.

I got what I thought I wouldn't catch.

Moral of the story:
Don't mix pain killers with alcohol.

But I felt fine after taking a couple.
I wanted to go out and sing karaoke...
and after taking two pain killers....
(because my teeth still hurt after four days)
I thought I would be fine.
I had the energy.
So we walked to the bar.
KARAOKE NIGHT!

It was a normal Saturday night.
My Zachary had to work.
So my roommates and I went out.
And we had a lot of fun.
We sang a lot of songs.
We even did an awesome ending encore.
And danced after karaoke was over.
And stayed til we got kicked out.
Which is normal.
I over did it.

I don't really know what happened next.
We weren't very far up the street.
Not far at all.
I was walking in between my two roommates.

One of them had my bike.
Because we walked all the way there
until I realized...
I forgot my wallet at home.
He went back to get it.
Isn't that nice???

I remember not being able to breathe.
I was wheezing and trying to breathe and trying to walk.
I had a hold of each of them on each side of me.
And I stopped walking.
I couldn't go on anymore.

And then there were red and blue lights behind me.
Officer Carley trying to talk to me.
Talking to my roommates.
Relaying the messages to the 1st Responders.
I couldn't understand what they were saying.
Then the rumble of the ambulance parked next to us.
They're throwing me on the cot.
And placing oxygen masks on my face.

I heard Officer Carley say
that I like to fight when I'm drunk.
He's right.
Not something I'm proud of
but history speaks for itself.
Its common to come to
and not know where you are
and freak out
and the first thought is
Who the hell are you, what are you doing to me, and how do I get out of here?

I heard him say he thought I was having an allergic reaction
to the alcohol and pain killers.
That I had my wisdom teeth pulled a couple days ago.
That he's seen me more intoxicated than this,
but never in a state of distress
to where I couldn't breathe
and every breath I took
felt as if it could have been my last.

An IV poke in my hand.
Oxygen tubes in my nose and around my mouth.
A Paramedic sitting next to me
trying to talk to me.
Officer Carley's headlights from the squad car
following the ambulance
blasting me in the eyes
as I was whisked away
to the emergency room.

Stripped of my clothes and assisted into a hospital gown
More pokes, prods and questions.
I've been coughing for more than a week.
I had two teeth pulled on Tuesday.
It gotten worse since then.
Thought I'd ride it out at home....
fluids, hot tea, cough syrup, gargle with warm salt water, lots of rest....
all the things Dr. Mom prescribes
wasn't good enough.

Poked three more times for blood draw.
The first phlebotomist couldn't get it.
I have squirmy veins.
A radiologist wheeled me down for a chest x-ray.
The nurse made me pee on the commode.
That was gross.
I wanted to go to the bathroom.
Instead they brought it to me.

The doctor came in
and said the chest x ray showed
I have a little bit of pneumonia
in my left lung.
Sent me with a scrip for an antibiotic and tylenol with codeine.
And got me a cab ride home.

I slept in the recliner for a couple hours Monday morning.
Because I would cough and hack my brains out if I tried to lie down.
I even tried reclining in my bed.
That didn't work.
I didn't go to school Monday.
Officer Carley came by Monday night
and asked my roommates how I was doing.
That was nice of him.

Tuesday was worse.
I really felt like I would die.
My roommates said give it one more day
to see if the antibiotics would kick in.
By now it felt like someone had a fist around my windpipe
and was squeezing tighter and tighter
with every breath.

Tuesday night I woke up at 3 a.m.
Coughing and wheezing.
I thought about calling 911
but I'm tough... I'll make it.
I was up for three more hours coughing and wheezing.
I couldn't relax.
I couldn't lay down.
The only thing that helped
was sitting up in bed.
My lower abdomen was starting to throb
from coughing so hard.

By Wednesday when I woke up
my roommates said they could hear me wheezing
from across the room.
I was just trying to breathe.
I called the Nurse Advisor line
and she told me to come back to the hospital.
I had been progressively getting worse.
I couldn't say a sentence
without gasping for air.
I couldn't walk across the hall to the bathroom
without hacking my lungs out.

To Urgent Care it was
on the next bus.
They whisked me off to the emergency room
Again.
Back in the hospital gown.
Back to the breathing treatments.
Back to the x ray room.
1111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111
That was courtesy of the kitten
walking on my keyboard.

More questions.
No I haven't been coughing anything up.
No I haven't had a fever.
But if I had
the Tylenol with codeine
they had given me a few days ago
would hide that well.
I'd been wheezing for two days.
Why didn't they give me an inhaler
the first time?
Is the mold we found in my room
a cause of the pneumonia?
Since they have me antibiotics for bacterial pneumonia,
not viral.
Which means I'm not contagious.

The doc said
if I wasn't responding to the breathing treatments
through the nebulizer
that I would have to stay in the hospital.
I've only had to once.
I didn't like it.

The first two didn't seem to work.
Two hours down and I was starting to breathe a little easier.
They gave me another.
and I was OK.
So they made sure I could breathe
after the 4th one.

Four hours later
I was discharged.
The chest x ray showed
I had swelling in my lungs
more than the pneumonia brought on.
So they gave me an inhaler and a steroid
to breathe easier and get the swollen lungs down.
Said I should be back to normal by the weekend.
And set me up with a local doctor.

I'm already feeling better.
I can talk.
I'm not wheezing with every breath.
I have a little bit of energy.
But I think I'm going to save it.
for....

KARAOKE NIGHT

this weekend ;)

We is All a Bunch of Sicklies

Yep. I've had this crazy cough for a little more than a week now... it didn't really start to come about til I kissed Zach last Friday.... that man has the worst immune system in the world... if he can catch something, he will. It doesn't help that he works in the lab at the clinic and can catch just about anything. This time he's said its his tonsils. Again. Which he apparently has something wrong with them about every four months.

I'm not even coughing anything up, just have a sore throat and a harsh, deep cough. I saw on the news last night that there have been several cases of whooping cough confirmed in our area but I looked up the symptoms to that and I don't seem to have them... sounds like bronchitis but I have to sleep sitting up because the cough is worse at night and I don't want it to turn into pneumonia.... everyone's telling me to see a dr but I have Dr Mom ;)

So I have been hiding in my room alot, under the vaporizer and humidifier with cough syrup and cough drops and hot tea with lemon and sugar pumping into me like water... doesn't help that I had two teeth pulled out on Tuesday morning and got good painkillers for that... so I've pretty much been an invalid for the past three days.

Akira was in the hospital last night... dr said on Wed. she had the stomach flu and yesterday she was worse so she was taken in and they admitted her because she was dehydrated and had low blood sugar. They didn't really say much more than that... but she's home now and acting like the normal three year old that she is, for the most part. Just hoping everyone else in the house doesn't get sick now also... it's making the rounds....

AS IF!!!!

So my book didn't make it to the quarter finals round of the ABNA Novel thing. Oh well... I don't think these people know what they're talking about because these are the reviews I got back from 2 "Expert Reviewers"....


ABNA Expert Reviewer:

What is the strongest aspect of this excerpt?
I'm really trying to think of something positive to say, but I can't. I guess it's nice to see Haley and Corey have a wholesome, fun relationship. It can be such a drag when relationships happen between two people who are obviously very bad for each other.

What aspect needs the most work?

Where to start?

The main character, Haley, sounds and acts like she is all of twelve years old. I couldn't believe it when it mentioned she was a senior in high school. From her word choices to what she does, Haley seems like a child. I mean, her idea of fun is terrorizing kids on the bus? That sounds like elementary school, for crying out loud!

You also need to decide whether this story is being told in the past tense or the present tense. The narrative constantly switches. For example:
"Corey was Haley’s best buddy on the bus. Together, the two of them were major partners in crime. Big-time. He is also valedictorian of their senior class."

Corey WAS Haley's best buddy...the two of them WERE major partners...these are past tense statements. He IS valedictorian - that is present tense. The tense changes how the story is told and what the reader can expect from it...and it HAS TO BE CONSISTENT throughout the narrative.

What is your overall opinion of this excerpt?
I would not recommend this to anyone.

The dialogue is unnatural and stiff; teenagers don't really talk like Haley, Corey and Nick.

The writing itself is very juvenile. If I had to guess, I would say that someone between the ages of twelve and fifteen wrote it. The language is unsophisticated, and the simplistic plot and characterizations show an underdeveloped, immature writer. I guess that's the good news - if the writer is as young as I suspect, than as he/she grows older and matures, the writing will also improve.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------

What is the strongest aspect of this excerpt?
The excerpt does a good job establishing the relationships among the main characters without being overly expository. There are also a number of foreshadowing threads suggesting the mystery to come, and of course the problem of the cliffhanger ending to grab the reader's attention.

What aspect needs the most work?
The dialogue does not seem very realistic for teenagers, and the character's behavior and emotional responses also seem simplistic, so that the characters seem much younger than they are supposed to be (which makes the seeming foreshadowing of amorous feelings between the underage protagonist and the bus driver even more creepy). The narrative style also seems overly simple, even for a young adult audience.

What is your overall opinion of this excerpt?
The plot seems as if it may have some potential, but would benefit from more realistic dialogue, character development, and developed narration.

--------------------------------------------------

Yeh, these people said teenagers really don't talk like this... apparently none of these "expert reviewers" have ever lived or grown up in rural Midwest town where they have to create their own fun. Whatever. Everyone else who's read it loved it, including my English Composition instructor. Why would she say its great and encourage me to publish it, if it wasn't?

It's the end of the world as we know it...

I've started my Day Zero Project list... and only completed 3 things so far... with many more in progress. You can check out the links here on my blog from my homepage.

So I just made out the rent check and now I have runny black ink all over my fingers. Greeeeeaaaaaaat.

Anyways... this week has kinda sucked and kinda been ok. Monday I got a rejection letter from the Random House contest I entered that says:

Dear Writer:
Thank you for participating in the thirtieth annual Delacorte Press contest. We are sorry to tell you that your submission was not selected as our prizewinner, though we appreciate your having given us the opportunity to read it. Because of the number of entries, we are unable to comment specifically on your manuscript, but we wish you every success with your writing.
Sincerely
The Editors
Delacorte Press

And they returned my cover letter with that.

Is it because I wrote it when I was 17 and I told them that? I thought they would be impressed.
Is it because they dont know good writing when they see it? Yeah I think thats more like it because everyone who has read the excerpt and the book so far has said its awesome but I havent believed them.

And another rejection came today... with an email reply from Sprint saying they're not moving forward with my application at this time. Thats the third time I've been turned down by them, although the first time I actually had an interview.
Looks like I may have to resort to working in fast food. Ewwww.

The only thing thats kept me going this week is my Zachary. He's finally starting to come around and act like a boyfriend who loves his girlfriend. He hasn't come right out and told me he loves me yet, but a couple weekends ago he said "I think I'm falling in love with you" and said 1-4-3 instead of I love you but I know what he meant.

He has also been calling me during the week while we are apart, which he has not done ever, we would only text during the week and see each other on weekends. And he took me out to Sprint last week for the job fair then to lunch before he took me to school.

Maybe I'm just stressed out. I don't know what over besides the fact I cant seem to find a job. And unemployments going to run out here anytime soon. Got my taxes done last night and should have those back in a week or two so that takes care of rent for next month...

I guess Im just sick of rejection. What next?

Stupid Politics!

So I thought I would get out of watching President Obama's State of the Union Address because I had class tonight. "The President's on! He's on every channel!" Which comedian was that... Louie Anderson? I was relieved I have cable for one night.

Well, that was until I got to class and our instructor told us she was planning on watching it in class if we chose to.

I was grossly outnumbered. 16 people in the class, 14 females, 2 males, and only about 3 of us who didn't care to watch it at all, about 8 who said they would have watched it had they not been in class, and the rest said they wanted to watch it.

So here I sat. Bored out of my mind in the middle of the classroom texting to facebook and Twitter about how much clapping and standing going on. Did everyone seriously have to stand and clap EVERY single time the President said something?

A couple things did make me laugh though... such as when he stated that nobody is going to be denied the right to serve the country they love because of who they love... and the camera showed random dudes in uniform who were NOT clapping. NOT smiling. And NOT moving a muscle. They didn't look too happy.

And also when he said something about how the Interior Dept deals with freshwater salmon, the Commerce Dept deals with saltwater salmon, and when it's smoked its another whole different department!

Yeah I was still bored to no end.

It didn't help that my instructor brought snacks.

Because I don't care about politics. I simply don't care. I don't vote, yet I don't complain about the way the government does things or what's going on in the political world.

And now we have to wrote a one page paper about how what he said will influence our work as social workers.

You know how I think it will influence it? He's talking about cutting spending to community programs.... that's prolly where most of us will be working... therefore many of us will be competing for one job that MAY be available among 3000 people applying for it.

So yeah, what do I think about politics? :P

Give me a damn job now and I'll be happy forever. Until its shipped to India for a robot to do it for a quarter of the price.

Ups and Downs

Grow up.

Sit up.

Stand up.

Shut up.

Heads up!

Wait up.

What’s up?

Knocked up.

Throw up.

Make up.

Break up.

Shake it up.

Keep up.

Time’s up.

Burnt up.

Why do we say “up” when the majority of these phrases actually mean just the opposite?

We usually say “grow up” to someone who is acting like a young child or someone you would look DOWN upon for their actions.

Sit up. They’re already sitting DOWN.

Stand up. Again, they’re sitting DOWN.

Shut up means quiet DOWN. That’s just an all-around put DOWN.

When someone yells “Heads up!” it’s usually best to duck and run.

Wait up… what do you mean by that? Someone has to slow DOWN in order to wait for someone else to catch up.

What’s up? Well, when someone asks me that, I anticipate they expect a DOWN-to Earth reply.

Knocked up. Ouch. Aren’t women on like, bed rest during the latter stages of pregnancy?

And when you’re throwing up, ick. You wanna be anyhere EXCEPT vertical.

Make up. Could be looked at two different ways. One, the cosmetics people use to cover what they don’t want people to see, or to make them look better so no one puts them DOWN.

Two, making up after a break up because you’re so DOWN and out about no longer being with them, which brings me to break up.

It’s the same, only opposite. Don’t you break up because you’re no longer happy with the person or with something they did to upset you/bring you DOWN?

Shake it up. Ya gotta flip it upside DOWN to cover/mix the bottom?

Keep up. We tell someone that when they’re slowing DOWN or keeping us slowed DOWN.

Time’s up. The time’s not up! It’s DOWN, gone, never to be returned again. There’s no refund on time. It’s dead. Dead. DOWN. In the ground.

Burnt up. When a structure/object burns up, there’s nothing left. It burned DOWN. Disintegrated into a pile of kindling, unless you’re referring to BBQ.

Well, then it’s just the way Dad likes it! As he always tells his servers: When the smoke detector goes off, turn it over. When the fire dept. gets here, bring it to me!

Homework Inspiration

Tonight in class we were talking of personal stereotypes and biases. Also of how laws and norms have changed over the years. We have to write a reflection paper on something we talk about or learn or discuss in class every week and it reminded me of this note I wrote on facebook.... from when I was in jail in January of 2009.

I was thinking earlier how I remembered as we drove past the courthouse Austin would occasionally ask what this big building was. I never knew how to explain that to a 4 yr old. The only way I can think to explain it to him is that it's where grown ups get sent for a time out. Nope. He was too smart for that. "The police come and take them away and that's where they put them?" Yeah, that kid's brilliant. Just like his Aunt Holly. Too smart for her own good. And that's why she keeps getting brought back? No. She keeps getting brought back because she's a stubborn woman who has a problem following the rules of society, aka laws/ordinances/statutes/etc.

So this is how it works. As a baby, you cry, you get attention. As a toddler, you begin to explore on your own and learn the dangers of things from your own mistakes, such as touching something hot hurts you so you don't do it again. Unless you like pain, of course. Your parents teach you right from wrong and you answer to them for your wrongdoing. Once in school, you answer to the teacher(s) or the principal. AND your parents when you get home! Talk about double jeopardy! As an adult, you answer to the laws of society and the police officers counted on to enforce those laws. They, in essence, take you to answer to a judge. Once we die, we'll answer to the final judge: GOD. In a workplace setting, we answer to the supervisor/boss and if we don't like what they have to say we can go find one who does. If that boss is breaking the rules, he has a boss somewhere.

My point is this: everyone answers to somebody. Whether or not we like it, whether or not we may even know it. Traffic rules. Rules of the playground. Policies in the workplace. Laws in society. House rules. Landlord's rules. Rules we've instilled into our children for their safety and our sanity. No shoes, no shirt, no service. Codes of conduct. Bylaws. Regulations. Do not. Can not. Will not. Shall not. May not.
So do I have a problem with authority? No. I have a problem with following rules, in turn, having a problem with those in charge of enforcing them. There's a difference. Yeah, I know. Behave and I won't have a problem with the latter. Correct?

LOL I guess it's all in how the individual perceives it.

Homeless: Motel Kids

If you ever get a chance to watch this documentary, DO IT. I got the chance to watch this last night and it hit me hard close to home. I couldn't believe the conditions these kids live in and the things they learn in school.

Basically the documentary is about families who live in a motel in Orange County California, across the street from Disneyland. 4, 6, 8 people and pets crammed into a room. Sadly, it reminded me of the way many of my old friends in the Dells live, and how the Dells is known to everyone else as a tourist attraction where those who visit have a hard time realizing people live there let alone live in motel rooms as families with 4 or 6 people crammed into a kitchenette unit.

Its the same way here... people picture Orange County as a tourist location with Disneyland and the beaches and stuff, but probably have no clue these families and kids are right there across the street from their playground.... where the city streets and parking lots for these kids is a playground.

The video goes on to show about Project Hope, which is a school for homeless children funded by the government, but at the end they stated due to budget cuts they had to let two of their teachers go, including one who was in the video. I also couldn't believe that these kids were learning about legal and illegal drugs in 3rd and 4th grade! Is that due to the decay of society or how much drug activity there is in California compared to Wisconsin? I don't think I even began hearing about drugs at least til 7th or 8th grade, except cigarettes.

There were a few things that made my heart melt tho. Just shows how these kids are so different... an 11 yr old boy was asked what does home mean to him? And he replied he really doesn't know what that means. He lieved in a room with 3 or 4 other children and his mother and 4 dogs.

A 6 yr old in the classroom, when they were talking about living in America and the "rights" Americans have, this 6 yr old said "I have the right to remain silent." He's 6!!!! And I'm sure he didn't learn that from watching the tv show.... This is the same 6 year old when asked what he wanted this summer, replied "a mansion and all the guns in the world."

The one thing I DIDN'T like at all is when the interviewer asked the kids why they thought God would let them be homeless. I don't remember exactly what the kids replies were, but it just bothered me that she would ask that.

Anyways, go check this out if you haven't seen it. I wound up catching it at 2 am on HBO Signature channel this morning and I looked for it on demand and couldn't locate it... but its a good flick. Moving and heartbreaking. It made me want to go there and help these kids, even though I have no clue how.

I Have a New Love...

And that happens to be....

Karaoke.

You can check out the video from last night here.

I never was much into singing... but this has been fun. I only did it in the quietness of my own apartment singing at the top of my lungs and freaking out the neighbors. Not so much anymore... cause we don't have any neighbors here to freak out :)

My Christmas vacation from school has come to an end :( Go back tomorrow night. Still waiting for one more book, hoping it will be here tomorrow but I have tomorrow's book already... waiting for the book I need for Tuesday night classes.

Christmas break went pretty quick for me. Not really I am bored out of my mind. The job hunt is not going so well either. I spent near a half an hour online tonight applying for this work at home job, went through all the steps then the final step is a test run from your computer to see if its compatible with the system software. After all that time... why don't they do that first? Why waste the time to enter all the information if the only reason you may not get the job is because your computers too stupid? Ay yi yi

This Cracks Me Up!

I'm watching the movie Home Alone. The first one. A classic Christmas movie. And of course I turned it on right at the best part.... right when the crooks find out he's home alone and plan to come back. I think I have this movie memorized, the video worn out, and I still laugh.

OK so you all know I have been trying to, ok I mean, talking about, getting my book published. The one I wrote when I was 17 and haven't read over in 5 years or so at least. OK maybe 3. So i'm just bored and doing a search online about publishing info, and I come across a publishing contest for first time authors for young adult novels. Exactly what I wrote. Well, I came across this... 3 days ago.

The deadline for the manuscripts to be postmarked.... was today.

Well, should I go for it, or wait til next year. What the hell, I'd pull an all nighter and type the whole book and get it out at the latest possible time.... the final copy of my book is HAND PRINTED hahahaha Harry why the hell you dressed like a chicken? HAHAHAH thats my favorite part

OK so anyway I wasnt looking forward to staying awake for 48 hours staring at my computer screen. When I go look in my documents folder, I found that I had apparently typed it up two or three years ago and the document was somehow still saved in my computer. I looked it over and there appeared to be only the last four pages or so left to be typed, so I finished that up and spent nearly 12 hours yesterday going over the entire thing, editing and editing and editing it again. Then changing names to protect the guilty, then trying to figure out how to write a summary and cover letter.

THEN... trying to figure out how to print it. I don't have a printer... and after calling 3 or 4 printing places last night and this morning to discover that none must be open today since none answered their phone (and one machine even said "we're open when the open sign is on....").

He's gonna call the cops! He's not calling the cops.... from a treehouse?! LOL I remember when I was younger and Mom wouldn't let us watch this movie because Kevin said the word "a**" in that part. LOL Love ya, Mom :)

So I checked out Office Depot's website and saw could upload files from your computer and print there and pick them up.... the only thing was they wouldn't allow an order to go through without putting it on a debit or credit card... they couldn't accept the order with the promise of a cash payment upon pickup....

Then my Daddy calls me last night... said he would come up this morning, figure out a way to get this printed, he would pay for it, and get it shipped. At this time my only option I was looking at is going to the library and printing the 200 pages for .10 apiece. So I called Office Depot and asked if they could print from a flash drive, they said they could and should be done in about 15 minutes if we got there this morning. We were out the door in 5 minutes.

Got it printed with no problems.... two copies, off to the post office... pay for a paddy envelope with delivery confirmation... and we were off for a late breakfast. Postmarked an hour before noon today... when the post office closed.

Nothing like waiting til the last minute!